Perverted by Headphones

I’ve often laughed or rolled my eyes when someone has described some inanimate object as “life changing” – like, when you switch the shopping channel on, they’re raving about a new face cream that costs £100 a tub and alleging it can make you look like you’ve got a picture in the attic…

Then, a few weeks ago I finally plucked up the courage to fork out for a pair of noise cancelling headphones. And guess what..? *whispers* they have…changed…my…life…

I don’t do sponsored posts/affiliate links or any of that shit, but if you’re reading this at the Bose factory, uguise have rocked my world, yo.

It’s one of those things I ummed and ahhed about doing for ages before I finally found a pair that were cheap enough to afford (they’re an old model but I genuinely don’t care) and I got them from the shopping channel on easy pay instalments.

Still sceptical as fuck, I opened the package the day they arrived, and tried them on.

Firstly, they’re over ear ones, so a little obtrusive looking which puts me off. But that (so far) is the only bad thing I have to report.

Reader, if I could marry them, I would. Just having them on without the noise cancelling is great – but flick that switch and it’s manna from heaven.

This is how I imagine life sounds for Neurotypicals. This is how I imagine life sounds when it’s not constantly lived at what sounds like 5 million decibels coming at you all at once, with a side order of feedback. This is…what not having autism sounds like.

I sometimes badly wish I wasn’t autistic and that no one else had to put up with me.

I hadn’t realised just how much Sound and light affected me. Sound particularly. It’s hard to explain.

I’ve always had the volume set on low on the TV, and been known to watch it with the sound totally off (only on my own). I’ll listen to music, but can only stand it at a certain volume, any higher and it makes my head burst and gives me nausea.

Little everyday sounds – the washing machine, the gas fire, the central heating clicking on and off, doors opening, pots rattling in the sink and on the drained sound ear splitting and painful. Add into that voices, talking, outdoor noise, cars, phones ringing… I can’t filter any of it, or blot it out. It all comes at the same volume.

Being out and about and Social is even worse. I can’t differentiate between who is talking at me or who is talking nearby. If its a crowded place or public, by the time I’ve done half an hour trying to keep up with everything – I’m mentally and physically dead.

It affects my work, meaning I can only concentrate for short bursts. Regularly feeling like I needed to shut my eyes or put my head on the desk before I could carry on.

So, I’ve been road testing the Bose Headphones for 3 weeks now. They’ve radically altered my pain levels, I’m still in a lot of pain, but the drastic reduction in noise means it’s much less than it could be.

I can focus on my work better – sitting still for two hours at a time, and able to finish tasks one by one was unheard of until I got these.

They blot out all the unimportant stuff and mean I can hear everything I really need to. My boyfriend talking, the doorbell ringing, music I want to listen to. I just don’t have to cope with all the other white noise.

Of course, every fibre of me rails against it. I *should* just be able to cope without them. WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE NORMAL? You’re such a lame idiot. EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE A FREAK. Etc. But truth is here I had no idea how badly I was suffering until I put these headphones on and my shoulders dropped. I cried. There were tears. I still feel like that now.

I’ve also invested in some cheap silicon noise reducing ear plugs, which I’m currently using at night to try and help me sleep. The walls are thin in our house and our neighbours are…rough as arseholes.

Anyway. Bit late to the party, but these things take time. Noise Cancelling Headphones 1 – Autism 0.